Fathers
by Hi no Hime
Summary: Riza witnesses a fight between Edward and his father, she then goes after him to try and help him realize that he's not alone.  Not Romance, though some slight Royai at the end.  Mentions of death and character suicide
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer- I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist or the song Emotionless.

Summary- Riza witnesses a fight between Ed and Hoenheim and goes after an angry Ed. NOT ROMANCE!

…

One sunny day in Central Riza Hawkeye had a rare day off so she was taking her faithful dog, Black Hayate for a walk. While in the park she heard someone yelling. She goes over to inspect the situation and spots the familiar faces of Edward Elric and his younger brother Alphonse. With them was a man she had never seen before, but judging by the way he looks she guesses that it is the boys' father. She can see that the young state alchemist is very angry. As she gets closer she can make out what he his saying.

"YOU BASTARD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

"Still like this Edward. When will you ever grow up? Hello Al, how are you?" The man looks at the older brother with little interest.

"I'm fine Dad. Ed that wasn't very nice." Al said trying to make peace between the two.

"What do I care? He's the bastard that abandoned us Al! How can you defend him like that?" Ed was now clearly angry at his younger brother as well.

"He's still our father."

"Not as far as I'm concerned. What kind of father abandons his wife and kids and then doesn't even come back for his wife's funeral? I am done with him!" With that Ed runs off.

"Ed wait, please come back!" Al tried calling out to his brother, but to no avail. Ed just keeps running. Just then Riza, who had been trying to remain unnoticed, looses her grip on Hayate and he runs off to the young man in armor.

"Hayate come back here now!" She calls after the excited dog, but for once he does not immediately listen to her and continues toward the metal boy. The dog the barks loudly, catching the attention of the father and son. Al turns around and sees the very frustrated lieutenant.

"Oh, Lieutenant Hawkeye, I didn't know you were there. Sorry you had to see that, brother just doesn't know how to control himself sometimes." He then looks down at the dog, now at his feet. "Hey there boy, did you get away from your master? I bet she's not going to be happy about this." He then patted the dog on his head and turned back to the woman.

"It's fine Alphonse. He's a lot like the colonel in that way." The boy laughed and said

"Don't let either of them hear you say that, of course I think you are about the only one either of them wouldn't do anything too." Riza blushed and laughed as well.

"Yes, you're probably right, but let's not test that theory." Al laughed again and nodded in agreement. Then suddenly the man behind them cleared his throat, tired of being ignored.

"Alphonse, you know this woman?"

"Oh, yea Dad. You remember the colonel I told you about? This is his lieutenant, Riza Hawkeye. Lieutenant Hawkeye, this is my and Ed's father Von Hoenheim."

"It's a please to meet you Mr. Hoenheim," Riza said holding out her hand.

"No miss, the pleasure is all mine. Al has told me a bit about you, said you have helped the boys out quite a bit. I want to thank you for taking care of them, oh and you don't have to call me mister; most people just call me Hoenheim." He replied shaking her hand.

"Alright then, and I really haven't done much for them."

Al then interjects, "That's not true, you've been a big help. You've given us advice and helped keep our secrets. Really we owe you a lot, the colonel to! I'm just sorry that my brother causes so much trouble."

"It's really no trouble; I care about you boys, so I want to help you. That's all."

"Still, it means a lot to us, even if my brother would never admit it."

"Speaking of Ed, he seemed rather angry when he left, will he be alright?" Riza asked.

"I'm sure he'll be fine. He's still really angry about everything that happened when we were little. I think he just needs to blow off some steam." Just then Riza got an idea.

"Do you know where he was going?"

"My guess would be back to the hotel we're staying at. Why?" Al asked confused.

"Alphonse, do you think you could watch Hayate for me for a bit? I want to talk to Ed; I think I might be able to help him."

"Umm, yea sure. We're in room 207 at the Central Military hotel. DO you really think you can help him?" Riza thought for a minute and answered.

"I don't know, but I want to try."

"Okay then, I guess I'll see you later then. Come on boy, you're coming with me for a bit."

"Yea, I don't think this'll be to long. I'll see you later." She then turned and walked in the direction Ed ran off to. She had always cared for the boys and even at times thought of them as surrogate sons, but the truth was that they reminded her of some people she once knew.

…

Once she got to the hotel Riza checked with the front desk, and just as Alphonse had predicted his brother was there. She thanked the man behind the desk and made her way up the stairs. It didn't take her long to find the boys' room and she knocked on the door. From the other side she hears,

"Go away Al! I don't feel like seeing anyone right now." She sighed and called out to him.

"Edward, it's Lieutenant Hawkeye, can I please come in." She heard shuffling behind the door and then it opened. She could see that he'd been crying, not that he would ever admit to it. He also looked a little taller than the last time she saw him and his hair was longer. He was obviously shocked by her presence there.

"Lieutenant Hawkeye, what are you doing here? I... I mean uh... come in." He stumbled on his words trying to figure out what to say, so it didn't come off as rude, he actually respected her. Not one to mince words, she jumped right on the reason she was there.

"I saw what happened in the park," she said sternly, but soft at the same time.

"I…I don't know what you're talking about." Ed said stubbornly, not looking at her.

"With your father, I spoke to him and your brother." Now Ed looked at her visibly upset.

"Yea, and let me guess, you're going to tell me that I'm being to hard on him and should forgive him, that he didn't mean to ruin our lives and let our mother die alone. Well I don't want to hear it, I'm sick of people trying to get me to forgive that bastard." He then turned around, away from the lieutenant.

"No Ed, that it not at all what I was going to say." Ed then turned back around to look at her. She was sitting on the small couch facing the door; she had a small, sad smile on her face. Ed looked at her incredulously.

"Then what were you going to say?" He asked carefully.

"What I was going to say, is that you have a right to be angry, you should be your lives were a lot more difficult because of him. What you need to do though, is find a more constructive way to release your anger. Shouting never solves anything. Also, you should know that you are not alone, other people have gone through this kind of thing too." She said this calmly.

"What do you mean?" He wanted her help, something he would never ask for, but since she was offering he would listen to her. She smiled and stood up.

"Come with me to my apartment, I'll make you dinner and there is something I want to show you." She started walking towards the door.

"Alright, what is it?" He was really curious, especially after her comment about him not being alone.

"You'll see when we get there." She thought for a minute an asked, "What do you want for dinner?"

"Umm… anything's good. I don't really care."

She thought again and asked him, "How does pasta sound?"

"Sure, sounds good. I don't want you to go to a whole lot of trouble though."

"Don't worry about it, it's been a while since I've had a chance to cook a real meal, and cooking is one thing I really enjoy."

"Really, I didn't know that" Ed was kind of shocked at the revelation, but also glad that he was getting to know her better. Ever since they met she had been something of a mother to him, so he wanted to make her happy, much the same as with his own mother.

….

They made their way to the Lieutenant's apartment in relative silence. When they got there Hawkeye made her way to the kitchen while Ed wandered around. He'd been there before, but he hadn't really taken the time to look at what was there. Most of her stuff was still in boxes, but there were a few personal touches to her living quarters.

There were some pictures hanging on the wall down the hallway. As he looked Ed could hear the older woman busy making their dinner. He saw a picture of the team from just after their transfer to Eastern Command. Just past that one was one of Havoc, Breda, and Furey playing a card game with Falman in the background looking unhappy. After that one was one of just her and Mustang in their uniforms. Most of what he saw was her and her comrades, until the very last two.

The first one was of what to him looked to be a very young Riza and a very stern, but sick looking man and next to him was a boy who looked like he could be a young Mustang. And next to it was the same girl and man, though younger and noticeably happier, but instead of the boy there was a beautiful woman. She has the same features as Hawkeye, though her face was a little rounder. He couldn't tell the color of the woman's hair or eye's, since the picture was in black and white, but if he could venture a guess they would be the same as the little girl next to her. It had to be her mother and the man was probably her father, there was no other reasonable explanation Ed could think of for her uncanny resemblance to the woman he knew.

It the occurred to Ed how little he knew about the lieutenant's life. He wondered why her mother wasn't in the other picture, and what had happened to make them both father and child loose the light in their eyes. He also wondered why Mustang showed up. Ed knew that they had known each other a long time, but he figures they had met in Ishval. If this was any indication, they had known one another much longer. From what he could tell from the photograph, they looked to be about 11 or 12 years old, and you couldn't join as active military until you were 17.

"That's my mother and father, and you can probably guess who the boy is." Until just then Ed had almost forgotten that Hawkeye was even there. He looked at her for a moment before finding his voice.

"Uh, yea. Even though he's older he still looks pretty much the same. Was he as arrogant back then as he is now?"

"Worse actually. He believed he could do anything, sometimes he still seems to forget that he's only human. But back then he didn't have the same experiences to ground him. A lot has changed since the day we took that picture." Ed noticed a soft look in the woman's eye's that he only saw on rare occasion.

How old were you? When the picture was taken I mean." The teen didn't mean to be nosey, but he was curious and years of alchemy research has gotten him into the habit of looking for answers.

"Let's see, when that picture was taken…" she thought about it for a minute, "Ahh, yes I was 11 and he was 13. It was just after he came to live with us." That statement really shocked the younger of the pair.

"He… he lived with you?" Hawkeye chuckled a bit at the boy's reaction.

"Yes, for several years in fact. My father was his alchemy teacher. Now come of the food's ready." Ed still shell shocked from the new revelation followed her in silence. When they got to the dinning room he saw what she had made for them.

There was spaghetti and the most delicious looking sauce he had ever seen. It looked homemade and beside that was homemade garlic bread with four kinds of cheese melted on top. There was also a simple, but still wonderful looking salad and a bottle of dressing next to it. Ed stared at the food speechless for a moment until he regained his composure and thanked the woman who went to all the trouble just for him.

"Lieutenant, you didn't have to do all this just for me."

Again Riza chuckled and told the boy, "Nonsense, I told you I enjoy cooking, but when it's just me I don't feel like making a big deal out of it. This just gave me an excuse to have a little fun. Now have as much as you'd like. From what I've heard from your brother you tend to eat enough for two."

"Okay, if it really wasn't too much trouble, then I guess I don't feel so bad." He sat down and started putting some food on his plate, he took about a fourth of the spaghetti and two pieces of the bread and a decent sized portion of the salad. "What kind of dressing is this?" Ed asked curiously before putting any on his plate.

"It's Cretan. I wasn't sure what kind you would like, though I figured I shouldn't go with anything milk based." Ed stiffened at the mention of his mortal enemy and he started grumbling to himself. Then Riza did something that really shocked him, she laughed at him. Not just a small chuckle either, she full on laughed at him. Ed was sure that he had never heard her laugh like that before, but it made him happy to see for so relaxed. Her laugh reminded him again of his mother and how she use to laugh at his complete hatred of anything to do with milk. After a few minutes of laughing Riza regained her composure.

"Sorry about that Ed, it's just I had always heard about your disdain for milk, but I had never seen it for myself. It was just funny. I'm sorry for laughing."

"No it's alright, my mother use to laugh at me like that when I went on one of my "milk rants" as she called them. Actually you remind me of her a lot." Ed's expression darkened slightly as he recalled his mother and how much he missed her.

"I could never hope to replace your mother, nor would I want to, but I'm glad that you think so highly of me. I know she meant a lot to you boys, so for you to say that I remind you of her I take as one of the greatest compliments you could ever give me."

"Oh, umm, you're welcome I guess." Edward then turned back to his food. He took a big bite of the spaghetti. "Wow, this is really good. I think you're at least as good a cook as Mrs. Hughes, if not better! This is really great!" Ed said enthusiastically.

"Well, I don't think I'm near as good as Gracia but thank you all the same. I'm glad you're enjoying the food." They ate the rest of their meal without another word. Once they finished Ed remembered the real reason he was there.

"Oh, yea didn't you have something you wanted to show me?" Riza was pensive for a moment before responding.

"Yes, why don't you go to the living room and I will be there in just a minute." Without waiting for his reply she walked off toward the direction of her room. Edward did as he was told and went into her rather modest living room.

There wasn't much in there except a couch and a few chairs. There was one rather comfortable looking chair next to the window with a small table and lamp sitting beside it. Ed guessed that she used that chair to read on her rare days off. He sat down on the couch which faced a small hearth. It was simple, but cozy; it really seemed to fit her, he thought. A few minutes later Hawkeye came back in holding an old book and a guitar. Not for the first time that day, Ed was shocked by what he was seeing. He had no clue that the stern lieutenant he knew also played any sort of instrument. She sat down on the opposite end of the couch and sat the book in between them and rested the guitar against the side of the couch before speaking.

"Now Ed, remember what I said about finding a more constructive outlet for your anger, I also told you that you are not alone." She said, not really facing him.

"Yea, I remember" He said softly.

"Well, my own father was not what you would call a great father. There are times when I down right hated the man. You see, and this is not something you need to share with anyone else, not even Alphonse, my father was the one who created Flame Alchemy. It drove him mad, and because of that cursed alchemy several people whom I loved are dead." She paused for a moment to let what she had just said sink in. Edward reeling in the new information suddenly had a thought.

"That's what happened to your mother isn't it?" Riza looked down.

"In a manner of speaking, yes, but mostly I was talking about my two brothers, Lucas and Daniel." If Ed was shocked before, then he didn't know what to classify this new feeling. The woman who prided herself on keeping her feelings and emotions hidden was now sharing practically her whole life with him, and why, so he wouldn't feel alone and so angry at his own father. Some how he managed to find his voice again.

"What happened to them?" Hawkeye looked as if she was about to cry, but then she blinked really hard and went on.

"They were much older than me, 7 and 8 when I was born. Both of them showed early on a gift for alchemy, my parents were both so proud. When the oldest, Lucas, turned 10 my father started really teaching them alchemy. They had read some books before that, and even managed some minor transmutations, but until then had never been officially taught anything. They excelled, as was expected of them. Things went well for a while. When Luc turned 13 he went to Central to study with a friend of my father's, a year later Danny joined him."

Ed could hear how difficult this was becoming for her to say and part of him wanted to stop her, but another part, the scientist part, he supposed, was just to curious to say a damn thing. So he let her continue with her tale.

"They both stayed there for several years, all the while my father was working to perfect him alchemy so he could one day pass it on to my brothers. Finally the day came for Luc to come home and begin his training again with our father. He already knew the basics behind alchemy so my father went straight into in research with him. For days they went on about nothing else, the theories, the math, everything. My father drilled him until he was sure my brother was ready." She stopped for a moment and took a breath before continuing.

"The day Lucas was suppose to start practicing making flames, they left the house early. There was an old hunting shed in the middle of the wood, just inside our family's property. My father was never a hunter so it was never used; he decided it would be the perfect place to practice. Now I don't know the exact details of what happened, all I know is that my father left to get their lunch and when he came back the shed was consumed with flames and my brother was dead." She paused again, giving Ed a chance to think about everything she had just told him. After a few more minutes of silence she started speaking again.

"I was 8 years old when Lucas dies, he was 16. Daniel came home from Central for the funeral and while he was there he and my father got into a fight. From what I learned my father did not want to teach him flame alchemy after what had happened to Luc. Daniel was furious; he kept saying that just because Luc wasn't capable of control didn't mean he would experience the same fate. A part of me understood what Danny was saying, but mostly I agreed with my father. I did not want to loose my other brother to the fire, but as fate would have it, that's exactly what happened. Daniel left one night after a particularly bad fight with Father. No one heard him leave, but it seen became obvious that he had snuck into my father's study and copied his notes. He was found dead, burned almost beyond recognition. After that my father went mad. He was determined to never let anyone share his sons' fate. He spent all his time in his study working day and night on a new cipher." Again Riza had to stop to breath.

"What happened to your mother? You said that she was also killed by the alchemy, but you've barely mentioned her at all." Ed wasn't sure where he found the strength to speak, but after hearing the answer to his question, he wished that for just once he had not sought the answer.

"She killed herself, just a week after Daniel's funeral. She never wanted a daughter, only put up with me because she felt she had to. After my brother's deaths she saw no point in going on. I remember the night she did it too. She came to my room just after midnight; I know this because I heard the clock down the hall. She stood over my bed, just looking at me for a while, I don't know how long. I pretended to be asleep; she never did like it if she found me awake after bed time. Eventually she just laughed and said 'You're his problem now' and left. The next morning the grounds keeper at the cemetery found her sprawled between my brother's graves. On the kitchen table she left a note blaming my father for all of their deaths and explaining that if she couldn't have her sons then she saw no point in going on further. I only know what it said because I was the one who found it, if fact I still have it here." She then opened the book.

In it Ed saw pictures of tow boys, whom he could only guess were her brothers, and as she turned to the last page he was a very faded piece of paper addressed to someone named Berthold. Guessing that was the lieutenant's father's name he could clearly make out the words. Seeing the boy's interest Riza turned the book so it was facing him.

"Here, you can go ahead and read it. I've told you this much already I don't see the harm it could do." He read it quickly, it wasn't very long, but by the time he finished he felt like he was going to be sick. He could never imagine a mother hating her child so much. It made him think about his own mother and how lucky he was to have her, even for the short time he did. Being with Hawkeye that day had made him think about his mother a lot. He started to wonder how someone who experienced so much hardship, even having a mother who hated her, could become such a kind and caring person.

"What happened next? You said he was determined not to let anyone share your brother's fate, but somehow Mustang learned the alchemy right? " He didn't know why he wanted her to continue, but he was morbidly curious. Also he just had to know how it was that she came out okay. She smiled at him, knowing that this would be his reaction.

"Well as I said my father went mad. He was determined to make this code one that was almost impossible to crack. Only the most skilled alchemists would be able to decipher it. After almost a year he finally perfected it, the only problem left was where to hide it." Riza's face darkened again, as if thinking about things to painful to mention. Ed could see that she did not want to go on, but said nothing. Eventually she seemed to move past whatever painful thoughts that had been plaguing her.

"My father knew that he could not just leave his notes lying around where anyone could find them. Even if the cipher was almost impossible to figure out he knew that there were some people who could. He spent the next month trying to find the best place to hide them until one day it came to him, the perfect place where only a very few people would ever be likely to see it."

"Where was it?"

"After what happened to my brother's my father made it clear that he had no intention of every teaching me alchemy; that turned out to work for the best since I never had any sort of talent for it. Instead he decided that I could carry on his legacy in a different fashion." Riza closed her eyes as she continued to speak, and by then Ed was too wrapped up in her story to interrupt.

"He, my father, decided that since I would never learn his alchemy, then I would be its keeper. And since I would never need to see it he deiced that the perfect place to hide his research would be to permanently inscribe it upon my back, so the only people who would ever see his notes would be ones whom I deemed worthy."

Upon hearing this Edward could not stay silent anymore. He was furious that someone could do that to their own daughter no less. It made him think of little Nina, and the fate she had suffered because of her father's ambition, his alchemy. He stood up quickly and shouted.

"WHAT! How could he do that to you? Please at least tell me he found a way so it didn't hurt. No! That still makes it inexcusable. Why? Why does alchemy drive men to do such horrible things to their children?" Having clamed slightly, or at east felt utterly defeated he fell back into his seat. All during his outburst the lieutenant showed no signs of what she was thinking. After she was sure Edward was through she spoke.

"You're thinking about the Tucker girl, aren't you? I can't say for certain, but I think something about alchemy, about the power is brings, can drive some people mad. Weak people, who have no business attaining such power. My father was weak, and so he was consumed by his power, as was Shou Tucker. I believe that one thing that makes all the difference is a sense of purpose. Give a person meaning, give them a purpose and it can make a world of difference."

Ed thought about what she had just told him, and it made sense. He and his brother had a purpose, a goal their entire lives. First it was to make their mother happy, then to bring her back, and finally to get their bodies back. Even Mustang had some sort of goal, though Ed had no clue at the time what it could be. Who knew what would happen once the reached their goal. Would they too be driven mad by their power?

"What about Mustang? How does he fit into all of this?"

"Colonel Mustang, as I told you was my father's apprentice. After completing the cipher and securing its hiding place, my father still felt the need to pas on his legacy. His son's were dead, and he had no intention of teaching his only remaining child so he sought students to teach. Now, you remember that friend of my father's I told you about, the one who my brother's studied with? Well he was friends with the colonel's foster mother. He heard that my father was looking for students, so he gave her our phone number. One thing led to another and about two months after I turned 11 Roy came to live with us. He stayed with us for a few years, learning the basics of alchemy, but my father never taught him anything about flame alchemy."

"So how did he get it? Did your father eventually teach it to him?"

"No, my father never taught him anything about his work, only where to find it. You see, my father always hated the military, probably because my mother's father was in it and he never approved of my parent's marriage. Once Mustang expressed an interest in joining my father became furious. He expelled Roy in an instant and told him never to come back. Well, as may be obvious, Mustang joined the military any way, and against my father's wishes Mustang returned to our house upon his graduation from the academy. That very day that Mustang returned was also the day my father died. He had been sick for a while and finally his body gave out on him. I think, despite what he had said, he was waiting for Mustang's return. He wanted to know just how determined Roy was to get the research, so as he lay dieing in Mustang's arms, he told Roy where to find his notes."

Edward couldn't find words to express what he was feeling. He had taken in so much information in such little time, that he was having a hard time processing it all. The only thing he could think of to say was this…

"So uh, that means that Mustang has seen your uh um yea." He just couldn't seem to get the words out; luckily for him Riza understood what he meant.

"Yes, he has seen the tattoo on my back. It took him months to decipher the whole thing. It wasn't easy since I could not let him copy it down onto paper. I promised my father that there would never be another copy made, and I have kept that promise. As first I didn't want to give him the notes. I was worried that he wouldn't be able to control it, like my brothers, but he managed to convince me. And then he managed to prove me wrong, he didn't just control the flames, he mastered them. He then took that information and got his state certification. I worry what will become of him if he ever deviates from his goal." That last sentence was more said to her self than to Edward, in fact he almost didn't hear it. He chose not to pursue it, having already learned that there are some questions he would rather not know the answer to.

"So is that it? Is that all you wanted to tell me? I thought you said you were going to show me something, did you mean the pictures or the letter? What's the guitar for?" Despite himself he could not stop from asking some of the questions on his mind.

"No Edward that is not all. I do still have something else to show you, and yes it has to do with the guitar. You see, for a long time I blamed my father for everything. Like my mother I blamed him for the deaths of my brothers, and the for my mother's death as well. Then I hated him for locking himself away when I needed someone to comfort and take care of me, and then for burdening me with his life's work. After that I was angry at him for forcing Roy to leave. Eventually I was almost consumed by my anger and hatred for my father. There were times when I though I was going to explode. It wasn't until after my father's death that I learned another outlet. First it was shooting, I pored all my anger into each and every shot I fired. But eventually that wasn't enough, and I felt that using such a destructive method was not good for me. So one day, one of Roy's sister's saw that I was struggling with everything and decided to teach me how to sing and play the guitar." She paused for a moment, lost in her memories.

"She told me that one of the best ways to express ones self was through music. Eventually she taught me not only how to play, but how to write music as well. After that I wrote songs for everything I was feeling. I loved singing and it was liberating to finally be able to get it out. What I want to show you is a song I wrote for my father." With that she picked up the instrument and began playing a soft, almost sad tune. And then in a quiet voice she began to sing.

"Hey dad

I'm writing to you,

Not to tell you

That I still hate you,

Just to ask you how you feel

And how we fell apart,

How this fell apart?

Are you happy out there in this great wide world?

Do you think about your sons?

Do you miss your little girl?

When you lay your head down,

How do you sleep at night?

Do you even know if we're alright?

But we're alright,

We're alright.

It's been a long hard road without you by my side.

Why weren't you there all the nights that we cried?

You broke my mother's heart,

You broke you children for life,

It's not okay, but we're alright.

I remember the days you were a hero in my eyes,

But those are just a long lost memory of mine

I spent so many years learning how to survive

Now I'm writing just to let you know I'm still alive.

The days I spent so cold so hungry,

Were full of hate

I was so angry.

The scars run deep inside this tattooed body.

There's things I'll take to my grave,

But I'm okay

I'm okay.

It's been a long hard road without you by my side.

Why weren't you there all the nights that we cried?

You broke my mother's heart,

You broke you children for life,

It's not okay, but we're alright.

I remember the days you were a hero in my eyes,

But those are just a long lost memory of mine

I spent so many years learning how to survive

Now I'm writing just to let you know I'm still alive.

And some times I forget

Yea and this time I'll admit

That I miss you said I miss you

It's been a long hard road without you by my side.

Why weren't you there all the nights that we cried?

You broke my mother's heart,

You broke you children for life,

It's not okay, but we're alright.

I remember the days you were a hero in my eyes,

But those are just a long lost memory of mine

I spent so many years learning how to survive

Now I'm writing just to let you know I'm still alive.

And sometimes I forgive

And this time I'll admit

That I miss you I miss you

Hey dad

As her song came to a finish a single tear ran down her cheek. Again Edward was stunned speechless. After a few minutes of silence he found his voice again.

"Wow that was amazing. You're an amazing singer Lieutenant. And you wrote that by yourself? It was, you're wow." Riza chuckled at the boy's attempts to say what he meant.

"Thank you Edward. I'm not that good. But what I was trying to show you was that even though you are angry with your father, and for good reason, there is a better way to express yourself. Rather than letting you anger control you and shouting every time you seem him find a more constructive was to let it out. It doesn't even have to be with music or writing, you could use you alchemy and make something you feel expresses yourself. Shouting at him will never change what happened, and in the end it will not really make you feel any better. Do you understand what I am trying to tell you?" She looked at him expectantly.

"Yea, I think so." Just then the clock of the mantle began to ring, signaling just how late it had become.

"Oh, I didn't realize how late it was getting. Come on Ed, I'll walk you back to your hotel."

"You don't have to Lieutenant, I can go by myself."

"I know, but I also have to get Hayate back from your brother. I hope he wasn't to much for him to handle. That dog, I swear give him a chance and he'll walk all over you. He already has half the squad wrapped around his little paws." She laughed to herself as they walked out the door and back to Ed and Al's hotel.

They walked in silence again, both of them thinking about the day they had just had. Riza had never intended to tell him quite that much, but now she was kind of glad that she did. She did really trust Edward not to tell anyone else what she told him, and felt relieved to have been able to tell someone else. The only other person who knew that much about her was Roy, though he was a special circumstance.

Edward on the other hand was still absorbing everything he had learned. He was still having trouble imagining how someone could go through so much and still come out okay. Probably it was that she had someone who she could count on to help her. She has mentioned that she was angry at her father for kicking Mustang out. Maybe he was the one who helped her get through everything. Nah, she probably had someone else she could rely on, Mustang probably only stuck around for the alchemy, but that doesn't explain why she is still with him. Hmm, there were probably some things he would just never know the answer to.

They were both broken from the reverie by a loud bark and something very small, yet hard tackling Ed to the ground.

"Hayate no, bad dog!" They heard a familiar voice close by. They looked up to see that not only were they at Ed's hotel, but his little brother was waiting for them outside.

"Hayate up!" Commanded the canine's owner, the dog then backed off of Ed and went to her feet. "Hello Alphonse, sorry we took so long. I hope he wasn't too much trouble for you." She said facing the armored soul.

'No, he was fine until just now. I guess he saw you coming and got excited."

"Well that's good I suppose. I should be leaving now; I still have work in the morning. See you boys later. Come Hayate." She then turned and walked away without another word.

"So what did you two talk about?" Asked the younger brother.

"Oh, not much. She just gave me some advice." Edward tried to keep his explanation as simple as possible, hoping his younger brother wouldn't pry. As his luck would have it he didn't and the two just went back into the hotel and to their rooms. Alphonse really wanted to know what the woman had told his brother, but he could tell from the look on his face that he was not getting anything that night.

…..

The next morning as Lieutenant Hawkeye was preparing the day's paperwork her colonel walked in.

"Good morning Sir." She said quietly.

"Good morning Lieutenant, how was your day off? Did anything interesting happen?" He asked curiously.

"You could say that. I ran into the Elrics, even got to meet their father." She said as she continued sorting the stacks of paper.

"Really now, the elusive Elric's father. Tell me what was he like?" Now the colonel was really interested.

"He was very polite, though I only talked to him for a minute. He thanked me for helping take care of the boys." She said with a small smile on her face. She then finished sorting and went to take Mustang his stack, which was most decidedly the second biggest pile.

"He did now. Oh, come on why do I have to do so much? I swear when I'm Führer I will outlaw paperwork and will never have to do it again." Riza just shook her head as she was reminded of Edward from the day before going on about milk.

"Just do it and it wouldn't pile up so much. Most of this is stuff you should have done two days ago. Anyway, I told Edward about my family." At this Roy stopped his ranting and stood up. Looking around to make sure no one would see what he was about to do. He then walked over to where his most precious woman was standing and took her into his arms.

"How much did you tell him?" He asked quietly in to the side of her neck. It was rare that he held her like this, and even rarer that he did it while they were at the office.

"Everything. I thought it would help him get past some of his own issues. To be honest if felt kind of good to tell someone else." She said returning the embrace.

"Riza, you know if you are ever having trouble you can come to me. I will always be here for you. I promised long ago to never leave you so alone again. So I'm guessing that he also knows about your back. Did you show it to him?" He leaned in even more, almost crushing the woman to him.

"Yes, he does know, but no I did not show him. I felt that that was not something I needed to burden him with. Not to mention, knowing him the second he saw the scar he would go looking for the person who gave it to me. That is not something I wanted to put on you. Are you upset with me for telling him?" Roy kissed her neck lightly before pulling away just enough so he could see her face.

"No, what right do I have to be upset. It's your past and your choice who knows what. I'm just glad you told me before I had to see him next. Riza, you know how I feel about you," then he whispered, "My queen." Riza smiled at him.

"No different from how I feel about you," and then she whispered, "my king." Roy then kissed her cheek and then pulled away completely, returning to his desk. Riza went back to the piles of paper and laid a stack on each of the desks that filled the room. A few minutes later the rest of the team filed in and it was as if nothing had ever happened.

…

A/N: Wow that was 7357 word counting the song. I really hope you all enjoyed this as it has taken me months to finish. I thought of it one day after hearing the song I used in this, it's Emotionless by Good Charlotte. I felt that it really seemed to fit both Edward and Riza. I hope you guys don't mind that I took a few liberties by creating Riza's brothers and the circumstances surrounding their and their mother's deaths. However I do think I did a decent job keeping it all consistent with what we know from the manga. This is only a oneshot, though I do have a few extras I'm posting as separate chapters. One of them will be the note left by Riza's mother and the other will be a timeline following Riza's birth until Roy moves in with them. It won't be too detailed, but I do hope it helps to clarify any confusion you may have. Also I hope you liked the bit of Royai I put in at the end, I just couldn't help myself. Anyway, let me know what you think. I was told that I am not very good at describing things, so I really tried in this one. Please let me know if you thought it was not enough, good, or to much. I really want to know what you guy's thing, so please, please, please, please review.


	2. The Note

Disclaimer- I own NOTHING!

Summary- the note

My dearest Berthold,

By now you may not have heard, but I am dead. The agony I've felt this past few months with out my dear Lucas has been bad enough, but now my other precious son is dead as well. I cannot find it in me to go on any longer. I wanted to let you know that I fully blame you for their deaths, you and that horrible thing you call Flame Alchemy. If not for you my sons would both still be alive, and so would I. I hate you for what you have done to us and if there is a next world I shall never forgive you. So now I leave you with the daughter you cursed me with. Take her and do what you will, maybe she will be your next victim. Either way I no longer care, for I am to be reunited with my beloved sons. I wish I could say that I wish you the best, but I will not lie in my final words. So it is now that I say goodbye to the man I once loved with all my heart.

Sincerely

Amelia.


	3. Timeline

This is a time-line showing Riza's life as I have it set throughout the story.

Year 0 -Riza is Born

Lucas is 8

Daniel is 7

Year 1 -Riza is 1

Lucas is 9

Daniel is 8

Year 2 -Riza is 2

Lucas is 10 – starts alchemy training

Daniel is 9 – also starts alchemy training

Year 3 -Riza is 3

Lucas is 11

Daniel is 10

Year 4 -Riza is 4

Lucas is 12

Daniel is 11

Year 5 -Riza is 5

Lucas is 13 – goes to Central to study with their father's friend

Daniel is 12

Year 6 -Riza is 6

Lucas is 14

Daniel is 13 – goes to Central to study with their father's friend

Year 7 -Riza is 7

Lucas is 15

Daniel is 14

Picture is taken of Riza and her parents

Year 8 -Riza is 8

Lucas is 16 – returns home to learn Flame Alchemy and dies

Daniel is 15

Year 9 -Riza is 9

Daniel is 16 – steals notes on Flame Alchemy and dies

Riza's mother commits suicide

Year 10 – Riza is 10

Berthold perfects cipher

Riza get's tatoo

Year 11 -Riza is 11

Roy is 13- comes to stay with them

Year 12 -Riza is 12

Roy is 15

Year 13 -Riza is 13

Roy is 16

Berthold expells Roy

Roy enters military academy

Year 14 -Riza is 14

Berthold becomes sick

Year 15 -Riza is 15

Roy returns for Flame Alchemy secrets

Berthold dies


End file.
